WHO AM I?
This searching question “Who Am
I”, recommended by the Sage Ramana Maharshi, strips away the
illusion of the egoic self, and when repeated as a mantra, is like
the echo machine, familiar to sailors, which searches below the murky
depths to reveal the reality that lays underneath.
“Who Am I”, is a direct
question that gradually unmasks the false layers of identity, to
reveal the true “Self”, the eternal reality that lies within. The
non dual reality (advaita), that
underlies all phenomena, can be likened to the ocean, without which
the surface waves, which come and go, could not exist. It is
identification with the surface waves of life that leads to
confusion, emotional highs and lows, and the danger of being caught
and transfixed by forces outside of ourselves.
Fortunately the road to freedom
has been clearly outlined in the sacred texts and spiritual dialogues
of the Upanishads, and in modern times in the literary works of
Eugene Halliday. In particular his Reflexive Self Consciousness,
which is an essential read for all those who seek psychological well
being, and spiritual enlightenment. In the longest and oldest of the
Upanishads the Brihad-aranyaka the
Sage Yajna speaks and says that the Self (Atman), is not this- not
this (Neti-neti), (Brhadaranyaka Upanishad,
5.5.15).
To repeat daily, in a spirit of
self inquiry “Who Am I”, will bring to mind many attributes, such
as one’s own social and economic standing in life, the impressions
we have about ourselves, and a constant stream of sense related
information. This like the surface waves on the ocean distracts from
the underlying reality and hence the reminder, not this- not this
(neti – neti).
The analogy of the waves and the
ocean is far from perfect, yet it goes some way to representing the
continuum of the life-force, as it expresses itself through all
animate and apparently inanimate objects, each standing out for a
time and creating the illusion of separativity. To experience the
wisdom that underlies form we have to place the mind in the heart and
experience the source from which everything has arisen, hence the
reminder, not this-not this.
Thoughts, habits and desires, have
an inherent will to exist, and the more we charge them with energy
the stronger they become, until even unwelcome thoughts become
difficult to dismiss, invading dreams and creating under currents of
feeling that influence every level. Watchfulness and discrimination
are two key words during our journey of self enquiry, and we have to
be vigilant, so that that the mantra neti-neti, does not lead from
one form of day dreaming to another.
We cannot see the world of spirit,
but it is ever present, and can be sensed at intuitive levels of
perception, such as when we see an object or scene of great beauty,
and then realise that to recognise it, it must already exist within
ourselves. We are reminded here, of the words of a Father to his Son
in the Chandogya Upanishad (6.12-14). “Believe me, my son, an
invisible and subtle essence is the Spirit of the whole universe.
That is Reality. That is Atman. THOU ART THAT”.
The Atman is both immanent and
infinite and it is that in us which knows and has the freedom to make
choices. The choices we make, determine the nature of the life we
lead and ultimately we cannot blame anyone for what happens to us, as
individual choices determine our outcome. True happiness lies on the
inside and not on the outside and it is by diving deep within, that
we are able to tap a source of wisdom that provides the template for
every living thing, and continues to guide each according to their
individual karma and the lessons to be learned.
The key to achieving clarity and
awareness is a short period of meditation every day, and by enquiring
“Who Am I”, this thought will gradually put all thoughts and
impressions into perspective and gradually consciousness will become
the screen against which all other thoughts come and go.
It is taught that all mantric
syllables become more powerful the quieter they become, hence they
are first voiced, then whispered, and mentally repeated until only
the essence of the sound remains. ‘Who’, may start its life as an
interrogative pronoun, but during meditation becomes more subtle, and
much like the air flowing through circled lips, when voicing “Who”,
there grows the sense of reaching more subtle levels of inflowing
energy and consciousness..
Gradually we begin to trust the
intuitive response from centre and learn to ‘Let Go and Let God’,
by responding to the truth within the heart, and that Self same
intelligence, that has developed the flowers in the field, the
ability of the turtle and salmon to navigate the oceans of the world.
It will also guide man to develop to his full potential, if we would
only stop, let go, and listen.
